The executive board of Darkwater Syndicate has announced that the company will be taking a new direction. After much deliberation, and a few drunken fistfights in the boardroom, the company has decided to publish cookbooks exclusively. Beginning  April 1st, 2019, it will publish cookbooks in the genres of fantasy, science fiction, horror, comedy, and thrillers.

"It wasn't an easy decision, but we think it's the best way forward," said Antonio Simon, Jr., Darkwater's Head of Business Development. "The market for cookbooks - sci-fi cookbooks in particular - is up 537% since 1988's Julia Childs's Cookbook for the Modern Martian Household. And let's not forget Edgar Allan Poe's horror cookbook classic: Quoth the Raven, Feed Me More!"

Not everyone was on board with the decision to shift into the cookbook market. The company's Head Acquisitions Editor, Ramiro Perez, was markedly irate. A longtime fan of hack-and-slash fiction in the vein of Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian stories, Perez joined the company in 2014 for the stated reason of wanting to read more contemporary fiction. When asked for his opinion on the changes in the company, Mr. Perez stated: "Get these ****ing reporters out of my ****ing office!" The seventy-seven year old then flipped a desk and threw an empty rum bottle at the reporters. The cantankerous Cuban was not available for further comment.

"I sure don't like it," said Apara Moreiya, the company's resident dragon and unofficial mascot, when asked about the change. "I didn't sign up to edit cookbooks; they're sooo boring! What's more, they've replaced me as company mascot!"

The company's beloved fire-breather was informed on the morning of April 1st that he would no longer serve as the company's mascot. The change of mascot is scheduled to coincide with a company logo and name change. To better suit their shift into the cookbook market, "Darkwater Syndicate, Inc." will henceforth be known instead as "Rosewater Syrup Cake, Inc." The new mascot will be the company's namesake, a lovely rosewater syrup cake. New logos and corporate images have been devised in accordance with the re-branding. See below.

The fourth and final member of the former Darkwater team, Douglas Fairbanks, could not be reached for comment. In much the same way salmon return to the rivers in which they were spawned, Mr. Fairbanks is believed to have absconded to the South American oil platform off the coast of Belize where he was conceived.

Look to Rosewater Syrup Cake, Inc. for the very best in new and exciting genre cookbooks.

Alma Mutters is the comedy from Miami that will have you saying: "¡Se Formó el Ballú!"

Xavier Mas Penoso is in over his head. He's returned to Bellarmine Jesuit Prep to teach Philosophy to the entitled teenage offspring of Miami's wealthiest families. Only, the hallowed halls of his alma mater aren't quite as gilded as when he was a student. Textbooks and notepads have been replaced with more laptops and i-Gadgets than the NSA Headquarters. The clergy running the school are P.T. Barnum’s spiritual successors: media-savvy priests who know that suckers are born every minute, and that they need a top-dollar education, too. Under their tutelage, the leaders of tomorrow develop skill sets in private and public sector corruption, depending on the boy’s appetites.

Xavier soon realizes he’s trapped in a job he hates. Academics has taken a distant backseat to Bellarmine’s Holy Trinity: the Hype, Spectacle, and Buzz that justify its raking in tuition fees twice the size of J-Lo’s biker shorts.  But Xavier is not one to give up on his principles so quickly. With empty-headed teens keyed up on Ecstasy on one hand, and a corrupt administration on the other, he plots his glorious revenge that could cost him his teaching career.

Thanks for following along with all the exciting updates on our hot new anthology of automotive horror. Here's update number three - and it's a doozy!

In this update, we reveal three more authors and their stories. First up, the big reveal: legendary author Stephen King enters the mix with "Trucks," the story that inspired the film "Maximum Overdrive," about vehicles with a mind of their turning on their human masters.

Then there's Nicholas Paschall, whose story, "The Black Engine" is about a 1974 Cadillac Miller-Meteor Criterion Ambulance that's possessed by an evil force on the verge of awakening.

Last but not least, there's "The Highway Phantom" by Michael Warriner, about a ghostly 1971 Buick Riviera.

There's just one story yet to be revealed, so stay tuned for more updates.

Alma Mutters is the first novel by Miami professor of humanities Dr. Julio Varela. and he's knocked it out of the park on his first at-bat. The book is a smart comedy about a high school teacher's revenge upon his burnout students and crooked administration. Here's what the Midwest Book Review has to say:

The book will be released March 31, 2019, but you can pre-order your copy for Kindle or paperback today.

Sleek as a fresh paint job, here's the cover art for our upcoming anthology of automotive horror: It Came From The Garage!

In terms of art, we went for a pulpy, B-movie aesthetic, hence the "horror film" titling and the toothy grin on the muscle car. But make no mistake - inside you'll find no-nonsense, no-holds-barred horror tales of haunted cruisers, possessed earthmovers, and bloodthirsty machines.

Kicking off the high-octane frights are two legendary headliners. We follow them up with another thirteen unique and original tales of cars behaving badly.

Gearheads, rejoice! This horror's right up your alley. It's coming soon, so watch this space for release dates.

Back on January 23, 2019, we announced the first of our two special guest authors in our upcoming anthology of automotive horror, It Came From The Garage! That was none other than Guy N. Smith, whose outstanding literary career of five decades produced several bestsellers. While we're not yet at liberty to divulge who the second special guest author will be, we can share with you a tentative list of participating authors and the cars they've written about. Stick around, because there's plenty more exciting news yet to be revealed.

From Miami author and college professor Dr. Julio Varela comes our newest release: Alma Mutters. It's a biting parody of the private school system that will leave you in stitches. The release date is March 31, 2019.

​Xavier Mas Penoso is in over his head. He's returned to Bellarmine Jesuit Prep to teach Philosophy to the entitled teenage offspring of Miami's wealthiest families. Only, the hallowed halls of his alma mater aren't quite as gilded as when he was a student. Textbooks and notepads have been replaced with more laptops and i-Gadgets than the NSA Headquarters. The clergy running the school are P.T. Barnum’s spiritual successors: media-savvy priests who know that suckers are born every minute, and that they need a top-dollar education, too. Under their tutelage, the leaders of tomorrow develop skill sets in private and public sector corruption, depending on the boy’s appetites.

Xavier soon realizes he’s trapped in a job he hates. Academics has taken a distant backseat to Bellarmine’s Holy Trinity: the Hype, Spectacle, and Buzz that justify its raking in tuition fees twice the size of J-Lo’s biker shorts. But Xavier is not one to give up on his principles so quickly. With empty-headed teens keyed up on Ecstasy on one hand, and a corrupt administration on the other, he plots his glorious revenge that could cost him his teaching career.