Darkwater Syndicate
Join The Syndicate!
  • News
  • Store
    • Free Books
    • New Releases
    • Action & Thrillers
    • Comedy
    • Fantasy
    • Horror
    • Science Fiction
    • Hardcover Special Editions
    • Special Interest
  • Authors
  • Our Staff
  • Awards
  • Publish With Us
  • About Us

Darkwater Syndicate Announces Company Re-Branding, Shift Into Cookbook Market

4/1/2019

0 Comments

 
The executive board of Darkwater Syndicate has announced that the company will be taking a new direction. After much deliberation, and a few drunken fistfights in the boardroom, the company has decided to publish cookbooks exclusively. Beginning  April 1st, 2019, it will publish cookbooks in the genres of fantasy, science fiction, horror, comedy, and thrillers.

"It wasn't an easy decision, but we think it's the best way forward," said Antonio Simon, Jr., Darkwater's Head of Business Development. "The market for cookbooks - sci-fi cookbooks in particular - is up 537% since 1988's Julia Childs's Cookbook for the Modern Martian Household. And let's not forget Edgar Allan Poe's horror cookbook classic: Quoth the Raven, Feed Me More!"
Picture
Antonio Simon, Jr.
Picture
Ramiro Perez
Not everyone was on board with the decision to shift into the cookbook market. The company's Head Acquisitions Editor, Ramiro Perez, was markedly irate. A longtime fan of hack-and-slash fiction in the vein of Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian stories, Perez joined the company in 2014 for the stated reason of wanting to read more contemporary fiction. When asked for his opinion on the changes in the company, Mr. Perez stated: "Get these ****ing reporters out of my ****ing office!" The seventy-seven year old then flipped a desk and threw an empty rum bottle at the reporters. The cantankerous Cuban was not available for further comment.
"I sure don't like it," said Apara Moreiya, the company's resident dragon and unofficial mascot, when asked about the change. "I didn't sign up to edit cookbooks; they're sooo boring! What's more, they've replaced me as company mascot!"

The company's beloved fire-breather was informed on the morning of April 1st that he would no longer serve as the company's mascot. The change of mascot is scheduled to coincide with a company logo and name change. To better suit their shift into the cookbook market, "Darkwater Syndicate, Inc." will henceforth be known instead as "Rosewater Syrup Cake, Inc." The new mascot will be the company's namesake, a lovely rosewater syrup cake. New logos and corporate images have been devised in accordance with the re-branding. See below.
Picture
Apara Moreiya
Picture
Douglas Fairbanks
The fourth and final member of the former Darkwater team, Douglas Fairbanks, could not be reached for comment. In much the same way salmon return to the rivers in which they were spawned, Mr. Fairbanks is believed to have absconded to the South American oil platform off the coast of Belize where he was conceived.

Look to Rosewater Syrup Cake, Inc. for the very best in new and exciting genre cookbooks.
Picture
Proposed company mascot: a lovely rosewater syrup cake
Picture
Proposed company logo in line with re-branding efforts
0 Comments

    Become A Patron!

    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Advice For Writers
    Annual Recap
    April Fools
    Awards & Reviews
    Behind The Scenes
    Book Trailers
    Cover Reveals
    Events
    Free Books
    Guest Posts
    Interviews
    Just For Fun
    Music & Video
    New Authors
    New Releases
    Perez's Picks
    Special Offers


    Friends Of The Syndicate

    Alvarium Experiment
    Beneath The Undergound
    CoverReveals
    DLS Reviews
    FL Authors & Publishers
    FL Writers Association
    Golden Dusk Photo
    GullwingOdyssey.com
    HistoryMiami
    IBPA
    JF Audio, LLC
    Minimalist Maestra
    Msgr. Pace High School
    Prometheus Saga
    Red Shoe Poet
    Snakebite Horror

    Swiftpassage
    Wyatt Gray Comedy
    Wynwood Radio

    Archives

    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013

Copyright © 2017 Darkwater Syndicate, Inc. All rights reserved.