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Poking Fun At The Joneses -- The Indiana Joneses, That Is

7/7/2014

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Remember Donovan, that two-faced industrial magnate from "Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade"? At the end of the film, he's in a chamber filled with chalices, each of which purports to be the true holy grail. Drinking from the true chalice brings life, but a sip from the false grail takes it away horrifically, as he comes to learn much too late.

If Twitter were around during his day, this is what we think his last status update would look like. And as an aside, notice how his final line of spoken dialogue: "What is happening to me?" so closely resembles what Twitter always seems to want to know (i.e., "What's happening?"). Coincidence? Maybe.

Indiana Jones & etc., and Twitter & etc., are property of their respective owners.

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Self-Styled King of the Nile Is King of the Vile

2/19/2013

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Egyptologists are at once baffled and excited over a recent archaeological find that, according to forensic scientists, may unlock a three thousand year old mystery. 

For nearly a century, historians have attempted to identify all of the children of Ramesses II, arguably the greatest of Egypt's pharaohs (reigned 1279 BCE – 1213 BCE). This has proven difficult, for apart from mere passage of time and deterioration of records, Ramesses is believed to have sired near to one hundred children. The recent discovery sheds new light on a personage once thought forever lost to history.

The Find
Much of what is known of Ramesses’s progeny comes down to us from monuments erected during the pharaoh’s lifetime. Of the known sons, only one has remained a mystery. Experts knew of his existence from his depiction on monuments, but had no way to identify him personally. This proved vexing, as Egyptians were meticulous at keeping records. That a son of the most revered pharaoh in Egypt’s history should not be identified in a monument indicated two things: loss to history by natural forces, or intentional defacement.

See What Happens Next
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This dark comedy, written in the style of an article in a history journal, celebrates a huge find. Egyptologists unlock a three thousand year old mystery when they unearth a tablet identifying Nebmahket, the forgotten son of Pharaoh Ramesses II. They soon learn why the ancient Egyptians were quick to cover up Nebmahket’s existence – the angry young man ate nine babies in his lifetime, two of which were his own children.
Order Nebmahket
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