
Creative people come up with solutions. Jackasses make other people feel bad about themselves. Therefore, infallible logic informs us that creative jackasses come up with solutions that make evil jackasses feel bad about themselves. They're Chaotic-Good on the alignment table.
If the world were populated solely with creative jackasses, it would be an obnoxious place to live... but everything would work. For instance:
Prison Violence
Oh, so there was a stabbing in the prison cafeteria? No problem. Replace all the eating utensils with cotton balls and announce soup is on the menu. Bon appétit!
Deforestation
Oh, so there's a paper mill in town stripping your pristine forests bare? Just call some arsonists and burn the forest down -- that factory will have to shut down! Wait a minute...
Healthcare
I went to the doctor for an x-ray of my foot. He put the film up on the screen and said, "I see what's been causing your ankle pain. You see that there?" he asked, pointing to a dislocated bone splinter.
"It's that bone there, but we can't see it very well so we'll need an MRI. That will cost another $5,000."
I scratched my head and responded, "You mean you need an MRI to see that thing you and I can see is right there?"
Unapologetic, he said, "Yes."
So I handed him my glasses, saying, "Doc, maybe you need these more than I do."
Putting It All Together
The gamut of societal problems we face -- crime, nepotism, workplace abuse, nasty neighbors -- all boil down to a simple concept: "My comfort or convenience is more important than your necessities."
Think about how true this is the next time you take grandma for a doctor's visit and some scumbag rolls his luxury SUV into the last wheelchair accessible parking space -- and then jaunts out of his car, strutting like he owns the place. Now you've got to park all the way in the back of the lot, struggle to get granny out of the car, then wheel her across several hundred feet of tarmac in blazing heat (or snow, if you prefer). All this, just because some self-absorbed ambulatory dirtbag considered himself too important to walk -- and took the spot reserved for someone who can't.
Things like this make a man's hand itch for a brick to put through someone's windshield -- luxury SUV windshield. Not that I've ever done that or would condone it, no... But still, I've seen this enough times, you'd think I'd have thrown enough bricks to make a house.
Be nice to people... or else.